Look, after the whole “pixelated Steve” video debacle, I didn’t even KNOW the LS-S61 had facial recognition until Brian sneered, “Bet yours can’t even scan a face like my Uncle’s fancy door!” Cue panic. Buried deep in the app’s “Are You Sure You’re Tech Savvy Enough?” settings? A toggle for ”Face ID Unlock.” Enabled it. Mistake? Probably.
First Attempt: Pure Farce. Sun blazing right behind me at sunset. Walked up. Blinking green light on the little fish-eye lens. Paused. App notification: “Unknown Face Detected: Low Confidence. Try Removing Hats or Glasses.” I was bald, squinting, and squished my own face against the peephole like a weirdo. Felt judged. Brian laughed until he choked.
Getting “Trained”: A New Level of Awkward. App instructions: “Hold face steady 8-10 inches from cam.” Done. Green light blink… blink… ERROR. “Poor Lighting.” Moved inside hallway. ERROR. “Too Close.” Backed up. ERROR. “Too Far.” Finally, contorted myself like a yoga pretzel under the porch light. SUCCESS! …For one profile shot. Now it needed angles. Left profile: Dropped my phone trying to contort. Right profile: Neighbor Dave walked past waving. Mortifying. Ten minutes later, sweating, I was “Face Profile 1.” Felt less like security, more like a police lineup modeling gig.
Does it Work? Mostly… Chaos.
- Me, No Hat, Daytime: “Hello, User! Unlocking!” Okay, kinda cool.
- Me, Baseball Cap: “Unknown Face Detected.” Sigh. Still need fingerprint.
- Me, Sunglasses: “Unknown Face Detected.” Obviously.
- Me at Night (Flash ON): Green night-vision glow. Awake Steve caught me scanning like a startled deer. “Whatcha doin’?” he yelled. Door chimed “ACCESS GRANTED!” before I even scanned. FALSE POSITIVE? Or just ghosts?
- Trash Panda Visitation: Midnight. Motion alert ping. Checked video feed. Glowing raccoon eyes filling the entire fisheye lens. Notification: *”High Confidence Match: User!”* My door thinks a raccoon is me. Security? Questionable. Comedy? Gold.
- Brian Tries it: “HA, watch this!” He mugged for the camera. “Access Denied.” Tried again. “Access Denied.” Third attempt: “UNKNOWN ENTITY! CONTACT ADMINISTRATOR! AIRHORN BLAST!” Woke the whole street. Sweet, sweet karma. His face? Priceless. Maybe too good at denying jerks?
Reliability Rating? Dubious & Context-Dependent.
Compared to the fingerprint scanner? Fingerprint wins. Less finicky. Rain, pizza grease, tears over the latest sportsball loss? Still works. Face unlock? Needs perfect posture, hat-free existence, and raccoon-free porches. Aunt Pam’s gadget with dedicated facial recognition? Smoother… but costs 3x more and needs constant charging. This? It’s a party trick grafted onto my lock. Fun? Often. Reliable? Only if you live like a mannequin under perfect lighting. Forget it after dark without the zombie-green flash scare. And definitely disable it during raccoon mating season.
Where it Fits in the Messy Smart Lock Landscape:
As a pure lock? Still solid. Deadbolt’s a tank. Fingerprint rocks. Guest codes genius. But the facial unlock? It’s like teaching your grumpy grandpa to use TikTok – technically possible, occasionally amusing, often frustrating, and fundamentally unpredictable. Would I rely only on it? Never. Would I keep it enabled purely for Brian-denial and trash-panda comedy? 1000%.
So, is it among those “reliable” smart locks with face scanning? Nnnnnot in any conventional sense. But as a weird hybrid security/comedy device that locks your door properly while occasionally screaming at squirrels or mistaking wildlife for homeowners? Yeah, it’s unique. Would I recommend it specifically for facial recognition? Heck no. But is it still a beefcake of a lock despite this janky bolt-on feature? Absolutely. For core security duties plus bonus laughs? It’s probably why the LS-S61 stubbornly remains lumped in among those top rated smart locks, raccoon confusion notwithstanding.
Final Thought: Disabled “Face ID” yesterday. Wore the raccoon hat Brian gifted me ironically. Fingerprint worked flawlessly. Lesson learned: Don’t outsmart the door. Just unlock it and move on. Now… what’s that motion alert? Oh. Just Dave in a new hat. My lock probably thinks he’s an opossum now. Fantastic.